You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
They are going to name an STD after you.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
