You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
