We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
