I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
