Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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