so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
