i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
