I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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