He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
