my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
