I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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