i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
