my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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