So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
