And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
