If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
