Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
