I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
