i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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