If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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