it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i black out too much to be "responsible"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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