So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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