im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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