I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
