careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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