idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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