I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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