Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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