I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
