why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
