its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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