Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
50% drunk capacity currently
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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