Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
