He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
