can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
