omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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