physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
