You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
