susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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