Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Are we still banned from the library?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
