Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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