can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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