Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
