I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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