I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
