...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
