I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
