I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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