I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
