one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
