Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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