Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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