I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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