Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
