Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
is wine microwaveable?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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