Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
