you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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