i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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