I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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